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Boonville Daily News - Boonville, MO
Tracy Beckerman is Lost in Suburbia and trying to hold onto just a little bit of her former, COOL, pre-mom self!
Up a Creek without a Coffeemaker
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About this blog
Nationally syndicated columnist and author Tracy Beckerman is \x34Lost in Suburbia\x34 ­ managing the chaos with a healthy dose of humor. Her next book, a \x34momoir,\x34 will be published in spring 2013. She contributes to many online mom sites, ...
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Nationally syndicated columnist and author Tracy Beckerman is \x34Lost in Suburbia\x34 ­ managing the chaos with a healthy dose of humor. Her next book, a \x34momoir,\x34 will be published in spring 2013. She contributes to many online mom sites, including www.todaysmama.com, www.rolemommy.com and www.newjerseymomsblog.com and is an official blogger for Lifetime Television's hit show, \x34The Balancing Act.\x34 She also does stand-up comedy and has appeared at venues including The Comic Strip Live in NYC and The Erma Bombeck Workshop in Dayton, Ohio. Before she became a columnist, Beckerman was a writer and producer in the television industry for 10 years, managing the advertising & promotion department at WCBS-TV New York. Tracy is married to a very understanding guy. They have two children and live in New Jersey where she writes, does battle with woodchucks and avoids, at all costs, driving a minivan.
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Oct. 2, 2012 12:01 a.m.



When we first moved to the ‘burbs, I was warned by my neighbors that power outages were pretty common in our neck of the woods. I suspected that the large number of trees towering over the power lines might have had something to do with that. So, in anticipation of the next power outage or quite possibly, the zombie apocalypse, I bought enough bottled water to fill a swimming pool, six self-cooling coolers to hold all the food in the fridge, a bazillion cans of creamed corn, and batteries up the wazoo.

I had a plan for every lack-of-power scenario. But the one thing I forgot about was…

The coffee maker.

I love coffee. I love the smell of it brewing and the first taste of it when it hits my tongue. I love it strong, and dark and loaded with caffeine.

Do I have a coffee addiction? Maybe? Do I have a coffee MAKER addiction? No doubt. I have coffee makers for just about any coffee situation. I have a twelve-cup coffee maker, a ten-cup coffee maker, a four-cup coffee maker and a one-cup coffee maker. I have five different brands of automatic coffee makers, one espresso machine, and an old fashioned percolator… and those are just the coffee makers I am currently using. I also have three older coffee makers that are in semi-retirement.

Hey, some women buy shoes. I buy coffee makers.

While all of these coffee makers have various pluses and minuses, there is, of course, one problem with all of them…

They all plug in.

Therefore, even though I have ten coffee makers, when we lost power, I had no way to make coffee.

Additionally, while I am a coffee maker addict, I am also a coffee drinking snob. With an entire pantry filled with various exotic coffee beans, I do not have a spec of instant coffee. Even under the most dire circumstances, I’d rather chew whole coffee beans and swirl hot water around in my mouth than drink instant coffee.

Although my head was clouded by a lack of caffeine, I had the presence of mind to realize that the one thing I did need that I didn’t have, was a French Press.

“I cannot believe I don’t have a French Press!” I wailed to my husband when I realized that I could be coffee-less until the power came back on. “Why don’t I have a French Press?”

“I believe you said, ‘With ten coffeemakers, a French Press would be over the top,’” he responded.

“Well THAT was dumb,” I retorted.

“I know,” said my husband. “Who would think that having eleven coffee makers would be so much more ridiculous that having ten!!”

I glared at him. I was in no mood to be ridiculed. I was a woman without caffeine and I was not to be reckoned with.

Fortunately, the coffee gods were smiling upon me, and the next day the power was restored. I woke up, made a huge pot of coffee and then grabbed my car keys.

“I’m outta here,” I said to my husband as I headed to the door.

“You’re going to buy a French Press aren’t you?” He asked snidely.

“No,” I said. “That would be silly…

“I’m going to buy a generator.”

©2012, Beckerman. All rights reserved.



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