Watching my male counterpart wrangle, and all but hog tie, our 90-pound pooch into submission prior to administering several drops of medicated ear treatment, I began to feel a bit horrified for any children we may (or may not) someday have.


Watching my male counterpart wrangle, and all but hog tie, our 90-pound pooch into submission prior to administering several drops of medicated ear treatment, I began to feel a bit horrified for any children we may (or may not) someday have.

Seeing my big, fur baby undergo a bit of routine ear maintenance left me covering my eyes and squealing like — a girl.

This is the exact reason why I leave any nail trimming, teeth cleaning and routine grooming to The Man.

When it comes to picking up the occasional vomit or acting as their human pooper scooper – I’m your go-to girl. Just don’t ask me to handle a task that, if under the right circumstances, could leave either of my fur babies injured.

Like I said, feel sorry for any future children coming our way.

Straddling the large and in-charge mutt, King Ace, The Man continued with the drops and massaging as grunts of delight told me the big lug — the dog, not The Man — was feeling better.

Had I tried to pin Ace down and administer medications myself, two lamps, an end table and a fish tank would have been replaced afterward. Much like when I try to give him baths in the bathtub.

With all of our family photos and a half a can of Diet Coke thrown from the ottoman, I would have been left holding the container of ear cream, now half empty and coating my arms.

Things with our "little one" aren’t any easier – though pinning her down sure might be.

Requiring a daily grooming, so her bow sits just right on top of her head, our Shih Tzu might as well be our child.

Though I would have trimmed her hair short, leaving the poof and bow behind, The Man insists his baby girl look like, a girl.

"If we cut off her pony tail she'll look like every other Shih Tzu," he whines. "And you can't ever tell if they're a boy or a girl that way."

As if the Mizzou doggie shirt and sparkly pink collar weren't enough of a dead give-away. Yet another reason to feel sorry for our possible offspring.

I've got to admit though, we've got a pretty good system with the dogs; and "they" say dogs just train you for children.

I handle the grooming, loving and worrying, while he handles the discipline, trimming and anything involving a q-tip, cotton ball, scissors or a prescription.

It works the same with children. Right?

Megan Tilk is a reporter and weekly columnist for the Boonville Daily News. She can be reached at bdnmegan@gmail.com or through her blog: megantilk.blogspot.com.